What a culture shock I had! I had a strange feeling of having to readjust myself and 'fit-in' in my own country, among my own family, relatives and friends and try to regain my space where I had left about 12 years ago. I felt odd and out of place, like a stranger among my own people. I had left Nepal when I was a barely 20 and here I was returning a mature young woman. I felt unsure about everything.
One thing that I'll never forget is that the very first night I was in Nepal at my husband's house, my sister-in -law and her friends took me this spiritual ritual called 'jhankri' which I had heard about before but had never experienced. Well, a 'jhankri' is a psychic/medium who can supposedly conncect to the 'other side' and help people release them of their supernatural problems. For eg, that night among the three man that had come to seek his help, was a guy whose brother had committed suicide by hanging himself because of his failed love life. So this younger brother wanted a closure and also wanted to ask his dead brother's spirit not to trouble the living family by killing their their cattles, making people sick etc. There we were, a bunch of girls among the old village men all huddled against the red clay walls in a smoky little dark room with a small fire in between. We eagerly waited to see if the dead brother's spirit would really possess this man's body. While the 'jhankri' kept shouting questions at him, every once in a while the man trembled unhumanly fast and blurted out a few words at a time, half of which we understood. Thus the dead spoke through his brother's body! This ritual would go on for days until everyone was sure that it was the right spirit and once confirmed, they'd ask him(the spirit) how they could make him happy so he wouldn't trouble the living. I didn't go there the other nights so I don't know what the outcome was.
Such was the very first day and I had 3 more months to spend!
After a few exciting weeks with my husband's side of his family, I finally got to see my side of the family and what a rush it was. The most immediate ones were the ones that I lurked at to touch their feet as a sign of respect and then there were others who came with huge smiles across their faces that somehow looked unsure. All I could hear was "when did u come?" and "how long are you staying?" Then there were my parents both elated with the joy of having their daughter back after so many years. I kept finding a little bit of myself in the people I knew.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Fast forward 12 years to Apr 2009, my first visit to Nepal
Where oh where do I start?!
So I went back to Nepal for the first time in about 12 years with my husband Ranjan. He had been back a few times before this so it was just me who was super elated with excitement and anxiety altogether, not to mention, it was our first time going back since we got married here in Boston.
I couldn't believe that I was going back home in so long and couldn't grasp my mind around the fact that I could really go to Nepal AND come back to the US...the fact being that I had gotten my Green Card after so many years and my mind-set was of a typical scared, hesitant, confused immigrant who loved this country and wished and wanted to be allowed to restart my life here.
SO, I flew out of Boston (my hometown for the past 12yrs) to London Heathrow, a whole day of transit there but lucky me, I got a 24 hrs visa to get out in London, then flew from London to Bahrain. Upon reaching Bahrain all I could think of was '5 more hrs than I'll be in Nepal!' The jetlag nonetheless kept me asleep most of the way. What woke me up, and I say this with the utmost joy and honesty that still gives me goosebumps, was the captain's announcement that 'we would be starting our descend for Kathmandu in 25 mins.' All those years of missing home, family, friends, and my country in general poured out of my eyes looking out the window of that Gulf Airlines. Yet, all I could see was gray and whiteness. I kept looking out and down at the clouds almost fearing that I'd miss something if I even blinked. Then the clouds suddenly parted and the huge dark shapes started forming. They were the hills of Nepal that I had never forgotten even after all these years of living in one of the world's best cities.
We landed in Tribhuvan International Airport in Kathmandu, a dimly lit airport with some staffs walking around helping the tired 'arrivals'. Our families were all there. So as part of the Hindu tradition, I was to go my husband's house first so we did. The 'car-ride' although is a whole different story! I sat in the front seat of a small car on the left, the driver seat is on the right, which is the wrong side here in the States! I sat with both my hands clutched to the sides of the seat and my seatbelt tightly fastened across my chest. I watched cars, minivans, trucks and motorbikes zoom by us left and right. I seriously had no idea how bad the (evening) traffic in Kathmandu was. Everything looked like it was coming straight at us then they'd veer off at the last possible second. It took me forever to get used to them driving on the left side of the road. I was literally relieved when we reached my husband's house. Then and there the rituals started and how exciting(and nerve wracking) it was to meet the rest of his family. We had a great welcome.
So I went back to Nepal for the first time in about 12 years with my husband Ranjan. He had been back a few times before this so it was just me who was super elated with excitement and anxiety altogether, not to mention, it was our first time going back since we got married here in Boston.
I couldn't believe that I was going back home in so long and couldn't grasp my mind around the fact that I could really go to Nepal AND come back to the US...the fact being that I had gotten my Green Card after so many years and my mind-set was of a typical scared, hesitant, confused immigrant who loved this country and wished and wanted to be allowed to restart my life here.
SO, I flew out of Boston (my hometown for the past 12yrs) to London Heathrow, a whole day of transit there but lucky me, I got a 24 hrs visa to get out in London, then flew from London to Bahrain. Upon reaching Bahrain all I could think of was '5 more hrs than I'll be in Nepal!' The jetlag nonetheless kept me asleep most of the way. What woke me up, and I say this with the utmost joy and honesty that still gives me goosebumps, was the captain's announcement that 'we would be starting our descend for Kathmandu in 25 mins.' All those years of missing home, family, friends, and my country in general poured out of my eyes looking out the window of that Gulf Airlines. Yet, all I could see was gray and whiteness. I kept looking out and down at the clouds almost fearing that I'd miss something if I even blinked. Then the clouds suddenly parted and the huge dark shapes started forming. They were the hills of Nepal that I had never forgotten even after all these years of living in one of the world's best cities.
We landed in Tribhuvan International Airport in Kathmandu, a dimly lit airport with some staffs walking around helping the tired 'arrivals'. Our families were all there. So as part of the Hindu tradition, I was to go my husband's house first so we did. The 'car-ride' although is a whole different story! I sat in the front seat of a small car on the left, the driver seat is on the right, which is the wrong side here in the States! I sat with both my hands clutched to the sides of the seat and my seatbelt tightly fastened across my chest. I watched cars, minivans, trucks and motorbikes zoom by us left and right. I seriously had no idea how bad the (evening) traffic in Kathmandu was. Everything looked like it was coming straight at us then they'd veer off at the last possible second. It took me forever to get used to them driving on the left side of the road. I was literally relieved when we reached my husband's house. Then and there the rituals started and how exciting(and nerve wracking) it was to meet the rest of his family. We had a great welcome.
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