My first visit to Nepal-2 ...The Adjusting.

What a culture shock I had! I had a strange feeling of having to readjust myself and 'fit-in' in my own country, among my own family, relatives and friends and try to regain my space where I had left about 12 years ago. I felt odd and out of place, like a stranger among my own people. I had left Nepal when I was a barely 20 and here I was returning a mature young woman. I felt unsure about everything.

One thing that I'll never forget is that the very first night I was in Nepal at my husband's house, my sister-in -law and her friends took me this spiritual ritual called 'jhankri' which I had heard about before but had never experienced. Well, a 'jhankri' is a psychic/medium who can supposedly conncect to the 'other side' and help people release them of their supernatural problems. For eg, that night among the three man that had come to seek his help, was a guy whose brother had committed suicide by hanging himself because of his failed love life. So this younger brother wanted a closure and also wanted to ask his dead brother's spirit not to trouble the living family by killing their their cattles, making people sick etc. There we were, a bunch of girls among the old village men all huddled against the red clay walls in a smoky little dark room with a small fire in between. We eagerly waited to see if the dead brother's spirit would really possess this man's body. While the 'jhankri' kept shouting questions at him, every once in a while the man trembled unhumanly fast and blurted out a few words at a time, half of which we understood. Thus the dead spoke through his brother's body! This ritual would go on for days until everyone was sure that it was the right spirit and once confirmed, they'd ask him(the spirit) how they could make him happy so he wouldn't trouble the living. I didn't go there the other nights so I don't know what the outcome was.

Such was the very first day and I had 3 more months to spend!

After a few exciting weeks with my husband's side of his family, I finally got to see my side of the family and what a rush it was. The most immediate ones were the ones that I lurked at to touch their feet as a sign of respect and then there were others who came with huge smiles across their faces that somehow looked unsure. All I could hear was "when did u come?" and "how long are you staying?" Then there were my parents both elated with the joy of having their daughter back after so many years. I kept finding a little bit of myself in the people I knew.

Fast forward 12 years to Apr 2009, my first visit to Nepal

Where oh where do I start?!

So I went back to Nepal for the first time in about 12 years with my husband Ranjan. He had been back a few times before this so it was just me who was super elated with excitement and anxiety altogether, not to mention, it was our first time going back since we got married here in Boston.

I couldn't believe that I was going back home in so long and couldn't grasp my mind around the fact that I could really go to Nepal AND come back to the US...the fact being that I had gotten my Green Card after so many years and my mind-set was of a typical scared, hesitant, confused immigrant who loved this country and wished and wanted to be allowed to restart my life here.

SO, I flew out of Boston (my hometown for the past 12yrs) to London Heathrow, a whole day of transit there but lucky me, I got a 24 hrs visa to get out in London, then flew from London to Bahrain. Upon reaching Bahrain all I could think of was '5 more hrs than I'll be in Nepal!' The jetlag nonetheless kept me asleep most of the way. What woke me up, and I say this with the utmost joy and honesty that still gives me goosebumps, was the captain's announcement that 'we would be starting our descend for Kathmandu in 25 mins.' All those years of missing home, family, friends, and my country in general poured out of my eyes looking out the window of that Gulf Airlines. Yet, all I could see was gray and whiteness. I kept looking out and down at the clouds almost fearing that I'd miss something if I even blinked. Then the clouds suddenly parted and the huge dark shapes started forming. They were the hills of Nepal that I had never forgotten even after all these years of living in one of the world's best cities.

We landed in Tribhuvan International Airport in Kathmandu, a dimly lit airport with some staffs walking around helping the tired 'arrivals'. Our families were all there. So as part of the Hindu tradition, I was to go my husband's house first so we did. The 'car-ride' although is a whole different story! I sat in the front seat of a small car on the left, the driver seat is on the right, which is the wrong side here in the States! I sat with both my hands clutched to the sides of the seat and my seatbelt tightly fastened across my chest. I watched cars, minivans, trucks and motorbikes zoom by us left and right. I seriously had no idea how bad the (evening) traffic in Kathmandu was. Everything looked like it was coming straight at us then they'd veer off at the last possible second. It took me forever to get used to them driving on the left side of the road. I was literally relieved when we reached my husband's house. Then and there the rituals started and how exciting(and nerve wracking) it was to meet the rest of his family. We had a great welcome.

Life lessons...

Well, as they say 'little knowledge is dangerous'. I came from an educated background and graduated from one of the best schools in Nepal. I was also one of the first teenage 'girl driver' in my town driving my dad's car, well there were a couple of lady doctors who drove and it was quite fascinating for people 'cos around town they'd know me by 'the girl with the blue car'. The number of lady drivers has only increased by a little even today in my hometown. My dad would call me 'my son'....being the oldest, he wanted me to be able to do all those things boys could do. I took sewing classes, learned Japanese for six months, learned to drive a car very willingly, learned to ride a motorbike very unwillingly( a motorbike?!),taught aerobics even though it's hard to imagine now!,worked in my mom's salon, hiked for 9 days on one of the roughest but very scenic terrain in Nepal. My dad just thought that i should gather all kind of experiences as if i were to present my 'experience resume' by the end of my life!

The driving, the language etc. all came in handy once I came to the States. Going to the bank, having my own account, dealing with the electricity, heating, and rent bills by myself was new to me. To me the malls looked like heaven..with all the designer clothes, fancy shoes and bags.....aaaahh yes! Not that I could afford any of it. I'd go to Downtown Crossing almost everyday for weeks and windowshopped-till-i-dropped until I started working.

In Boston, I became independent and made my own living for the first time. In Nepal, girls and boys stay at home until they get married. Their expenses are taken care of by the parents until college at least and even later. It's hard for me imagine now what my life would be like back home. I was fortunate enough to be sent to the best schools and have the my necessities fulfilled.

This is me....my first year in Boston.

Hello everyone! My name is Jeny. I just got back (on May 8th 2010) after spending four and a half months in Nepal. I am starting this blog as a medium to express my thoughts and feelings(sometimes random!), meanwhile trying to find myself sorta 'lost' between the two countries. I had a wonderful trip that I will be posting about later with pictures.

Thirteen years ago on June 1997, I came to the USA and have since been living here in Boston. I was 20 then. Years later, here I am living in one of the biggest and the best countries in the world, the USA.....a whole world apart from my own country, Nepal.

I came here as a quiet, reserved girl in the peak of my youth days not knowing what to expect from this country or it's people. The culture shock was huge and the language sounded very foreign even though my English language scores were the one of the highest in my middle and high school years. The first month I was in Boston, I got to stay with a bunch of Nepali girls in Somerville who I came to know about through my uncle in New York just that very first day in Boston! Luckily I found out that they were looking for a roommate for a month which meant I had a place for myself for a month. They came home around midnight from their restaurant jobs and drank beer and wine and a couple of them smoked cigarettes too. That was my first culture 'shock' of the many to follow. In Nepal, none of my friends drank or smoked or came home at midnight. I quickly realized that coming home at midnight was quite normal for people who worked at restaurants and that there was nothing wrong with having a glass or two of wine after work. Smiling with strangers was ok here. I'd never smile or talk to a stranger in Nepal, especially if they were men!

I spent the first few weeks looking out the window down on Somerville Ave, crying all the while questioning myself 'what am i doing here', 'what am i going do next', 'where am i going to live and with whom'....and above all, I missed home a lot. Before I knew it was time for me to look for my own apartment...the first apartment of my life. I had come to know a lady who was also looking for one so we decided to look together. Everyday, I went through Boston Globes and Boston Heralds looking for apartment ads but not knowing how close/far Cambridge was or Everett, Malden, Arlington, Belmont, Revere, Chelsea, or Framingham was. We finally found one in Arlington that I heard was 'not very far' from where I was living in Somerville and even though it was a 4 bedroom apartment for $1500, it would 'quickly be filled up' even though it was just the two of us looking for an apartment. Not knowing any better and therefore trusting 'their inputs', I quickly made arrangements and paid $3000 for the first and last month's....the last remaining chunk of money that I had with me. It was a 'first floor, 4 bdrm, one bathroom, eat-in-kitchen apt right on Mass Ave at the intersection of Brattle St.' The two of us settled in with a few of our suitcases.

One day in November, it started snowing. Despite being from a Himalayan country, I had never 'felt' real snow. So snow was very very exciting for me. My shout kind of echoed through my hollow apartment as I ran out right into Mass Ave and started jumping up and down in my pajamas. How silly I must have looked to the people passing by in their cars.

Trying to find roommates for the two other rooms and then living with a whole lot of them, not to mention sharing 'a' bathroom is a whole different story! It took us 3 months and getting on the 77 bus for days and posting our "roommates wanted" signs all over Porter Sq and Harvard Sq only to come back and find out that most of them had been ripped out because we had put them up in the prohibited places. Nonetheless, we got calls from all kinds of people, some Spanish guys who barely spoke any English, an Indian couple who needed a room for a month, another Indian man who was coming from Sacramento,CA and needed a room for three weeks, a Nepali couple with a little boy. The family moved in, soon followed by a couple of Nepali students.

My first part-time job was of a waitress at a Korean restaurant in Allston. I had a 12hr shift and by the time I got out of work, it would be close to 11pm. The first few days my ankles hurt so much from standing all day that I sat on the ground while waiting for the train. I'd take the Green Line to Park St, get on the Red Line there, get out in Porter Square and walk 15 minutes to my apartment at midnight. At times, a car or two full of drunk guys would pass by and yell out words in Spanish which I never understood to this day! A bunch of other jobs followed and thus slowly but surely I got myself in the groove of the American world.